File Under "Postings Not Found on craigslist"

-"Will trade goat for crack."

Four men were ordered to stand trial in the theft and butchering of a pet pygmy goat, allegedly so its meat could be traded for crack cocaine or money.

James W. Albright, 37, Gilbert W. Fisch, 38, Charles W. Smith Sr., 48, and Charles W. Smith Jr., 20, all of Connellsville, were held on theft, cruelty to animals and related charges yesterday.

So this turns into a heart-warming Father's Day story. Dad and son spending quality time together chopping up a stolen goat for drugs. Just brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

-"Will trade chicken for sex."

KEENE, N.H. -- A door-to-door meat salesman from Maine is accused of assaulting a potential customer after she turned down his offer of chicken in exchange for sex.

I'm sorry. A "door-to-door meat salesman"? Do they not have butchers or supermarkets in New Hampshire? And do you want to buy meat from a guy who drove from somewhere in Maine with a couple of slabs of beef and some ice packs in a beer cooler in his trunk?

(Sorry if you've seen these on Drudge this morning, but they were too good to pass up.)